The Lesson in Eating Your Vegetables

Anika and Sasha copy
Working on a Sunday afternoon at a local cafe with my best friend. Vegetables were already eaten before this photo was taken.  =)

…well more so metaphorically speaking.

Eating your vegetables is a universal analogy that many can relate to. Think about yourself as a kid or any show that depicts a child at dinner time (e.g., Everybody Hates Chris season 4, ep. 4 Everybody Hates Sausage)  The child will eat what he/she wants but would skip over the more nutrient dense foods like broccoli. I know you’re wondering where I’m going but hear me out.

As an adult, the equivalent to ingesting “icky, gross” vegetables so that your mother doesn’t yell at you can be likened to having discipline. Discipline and its dear sibling, will power, become your closest comrades as an adult.  I’m here to encourage you not only to eat the greens but also to be determined and unshaken in your commitment to do so.


Discipline is love. Say it over and over. Let this mantra be etched into your frontal lobe. Meditate on these words. Inhale & exhale keeping these words attached to your breath.

To exercise discipline is to exercise and exhibit self love. According to what I believe, the Creator provided us with all that we need to thrive on this planet. In order to reap the rewards that have been put forth for us, we need to carry out our tasks with humility, gratitude, determination and discipline. By doing our due diligence we not only praise the Almighty with a grateful heart but we also align ourselves with divine purpose. If you choose to forego the ickiest of your journey, there’s a high chance that you’re missing out on the opportunities that were designed to better prepare you for exactly who you’re supposed to be. We can catch up on the premise of purpose later. 

By skipping out on the more challenging assignments, there will come a time when you’re forced into doing the same things that you were avoiding in the first place. You’ll end up like Tanya, with a yelling, frantic Rochelle at your throat, and fearful brothers and a dad coming to your defense. Is that a stretch?! Maybe.  The difference between your life and a scripted show is that you may not have any lifelines left by the time your back is against the wall.  Ultimately, that leaves you with the options to either cower under pressure or to push through.

And if you want my advice I mean that is part of the reason you’re here right…? My advice is to push through because at some point there IS no excuse. Either you want to do everything it takes to make ‘ish happen or you don’t.  


Believe it or not, aside from the confidence boost, there’s a level of satisfaction (and reward) on the other side of things one rather not do.   Discipline and determination in one area of your life bleeds into other areas too! Discipline is a messy b*tch but in a good way!  I guarantee that if you actively start making certain decisions, you’ll have an easier time making others because discipline and will power are like muscles. The more you use them, the stronger they get. This doesn’t mean you won’t “backslide” sometimes but typically, exercising these muscles often means that you can do more heavy lifting with less strain. You’ll have reference points and personal inspiration to draw from when in tough times!

When I started to hold myself more accountable for my thoughts, emotions and behaviors, the world opened up to me. It was as though the Universe was waiting on me to align myself with what I said I had always wanted. Opportunities began to present themselves and for the first time in a very long time, I didn’t just believe that I was capable of creating my own life – I WAS ACTUALLY DOING IT.


After some time, you’ll find that discipline and determination are the catalyst to trusting yourself more. This is important, and it is this key item that provides us with the confidence and inspiration boost that I mentioned earlier.

With D&D, your focused work ethic will yield more positive results.  Consequently, the likelihood of you moving out of the safe zone and taking on more (calculated) risks will increase. I hope. Instead of doing the bare minimum, you will have more energy and  prowess to pursue those things that have been gnawing at you since the beginning because you now trust in your abilities like you never have before!! You had been waiting to start that academic program, side hustle ($$$) or new fitness challenge, and now, you have the know-how and the turbo to make it happen.


No one wants to get up for work every morning unless you work for Google, intake the daily recommended glasses of water (where’s the Pinot Noir?) or head to the gym. Sadly, when it comes to adulthood not wanting to do something is just not a sufficient reason to skip over challenges! You would be missing out on A LOT!

But if you’re finally ready to see an improvement in your productivity, creativity and life all around, take discipline and determination with you. You’ll be surprised at what’s awaiting you on the other side.



Classroom Attendance

Image Courtesy of @IMLOUISECHANTAL Instagram

Remember that? The good old days (c. 1997) when your elementary school teacher would do her roll call. “PRESENT!” said the little kiddies in the classroom (or “HERE!” if you were rebellious). I remember those responses being so enthusiastic — even at 8am. Ahhhh, childhood.

Fast Forward 2x to 2017; I can barely function at 8am (I really prefer not to but it’s necessary on most days).

Welcome to adulthood. Continue reading “Classroom Attendance”

How Exactly Did Stella Get Her Groove Back?

I’ve been longing for years to resume this process — this therapeutic purge of word vomit and Aries overshare. Each and every letter smeared across the page — or screen — helping to heal that which is still  broken (because healing is ongoing and can never, ever be linear).

It’s been 4+ years since I’ve decided to share my thoughts in written format on a digital landscape (excluding Instagram — my one and only social media platform). And here I am again. It’s funny how things come full circle — back to where you thought you’d never be again.

Join me along this ride. Trust me (if you dare); this space is where I’ll delve deep, sharing what I believe are the keys to my growth and expansion (not referring to my dress size here, but expanding emotionally, mentally… etc wise).


Healing. Is. Not. Linear.